....and a happy new year!

Time flies when you are having fun so I guess this vacation would be called awesome based on the lightening speed this vacation has gone. We got out of school on 12/18. Way back then it felt like this break would be an eternity! On Wednesday l and o went to Crackpots to create some gifts to mail to loved ones. Then that Thursday they had their first full day ski lesson on Eldora Mountain. We are so glad we signed them up for this lesson. It was amazing how much they can learn when being taught by the experts! Once the weekend arrived Justin also began vacation. On Sunday we headed back to Eldora for some more skiing. And just like that it was Christmas Eve. I worked hard to make a tasty batch of my Mom's lasagna. We enjoyed some yummy appetizers and then we went to a candlelight service. We walked out of church to see the ground covered with fluffy snow. When we came home we opened some gifts while dinner heated up. We all settled into bed by ten pm. On Christmas morning I got a Breakfast casserole in the oven and then we enjoyed opening some gifts. Laurel wrote me a beautiful note and Owen gave me this great mirror locket with Paris artwork on it. I also love the book Justin bought me- Ramble Colorado. We headed over to our friends' house around three. There we enjoyed great company, games and a delicious ham dinner.

The day after Christmas we went to see The Hobbit. Laurel also had her first babysitting job. Justin and I met with a realtor several times to prepare an offer on a home.... Time will tell what comes of that. Thursday I bought the one thing I said I was going to do when the house sold- good hiking boots. We also did the one thing Justin wanted when the house sold- Going out for a big steak. On Friday we took a family ski trip to Eldora. We were not the only ones with that idea! The single digit weather did not keep the crowds away and seats in the lodge were much harder to come by than seats on the chair lift.

So already that brings us up to our last weekend of break. To start, L had her first ukulele lesson. Then we enjoyed one of her Christmas gifts- a traditional tea party. This weekend we went to see another movie I was psyched for from the first time I saw the preview- Les Mis. It did not disappoint. Every time I go to Boulder I find something new to love.
For New Year's Eve we will enjoy some cheese fondue followed by chocolate fondue and board games. Then it will be time to start working on some New Years resolutions..... Two of which I know will be more exercise and move into a new home.

My heart is heavy

First the good news... On a very personal level, this week was great. We sold our house and we have the burden of paying for two homes lifted. Soon we will be able to start shopping for our Colorado home.
But the happiness and relief I was feeling from this personal joy was quickly replaced with great sorrow for the tragedy that occurred in Newtown on Friday. I do not think a news story has ever saddened me the way this news story has... Not Columbine, or 9/11 or the Challenger Disaster. I clearly remember where I was and what I was doing when all of those news stories broke. But I hope I will never live to hear a sadder story than the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre. Maybe because I taught first grade and I can picture myself in the same shoes as those teachers. Or maybe because I am a mother who sends her children off to school every day thinking we will see each other eight hours later. I actually need to stop reading the news because it is paralyzing me with sadness.

I try not to turn social media into political platforms. But I do wish someone could explain to me what sane reason anyone needs to own a semiautomatic? Honestly. There just comes no good of a weapon like that in the hands of civilians. How many more innocent people need to die before they admit that the second amendment was not intended for weapons like this? The only hope I have is that the awfulness of this event will make congress, and more importantly our special interest groups, (since they seem to have the real power) realize that our so called rights have gone way too far when someone acquires the means to burst into a school and assassinate six year olds.

Like everyone else I am grasping for some good that can come of this. Laurel stated the obvious- that if we can't feel safe at school, where can we feel safe? I replied that maybe, just maybe the awfulness of this event will force people to stop being so political and finally do what is right.
This week I was not surprised to learn that Teachers stand up to a gun man when the time comes to protect their students. But will Congress stand up to the NRA?

Celebrating Denise

On December 16 my sister Denise would have turned 40. Her life was cut short after she was in a serious car accident while studying in Russia during her junior year of college. Even though she has been gone for awhile, I still feel her spirit strong. I think she, more than anyone I know, would understand why we moved to Colorado. I know if she could write me a letter she would say- life is short. Live your life. She once said you can stay in your room and be safe or you can get out there and see the world. Staying in Denville certainly felt safer but I am grateful for all the experiences we are having here.

I really miss Denise and wonder what my life would be like had she not died so young. But at the same time I know I am a stronger person and my relationships with my family are stronger because of the hardships we have been through. Since I can't bring her back, rather than dwell on the loss, I can celebrate the gifts that she has given me. Some of these gifts include compassion and understanding when others suffer a loss, trying to make everyday count since it can all change in an instant, and keeping it all in per perspective about what REALLY matters!

I certainly thought this whole live your dream and fate would just make everything fall in place. But it is not like that at all. But we are all really living. Now we are back to hiking on the weekends, spending family time together and really feeling alive. In some ways the struggles have only confirmed that this is what we really want. If nothing else my children are seeing us struggle while still keeping our sense of humor and staying strong. Everyday we all learn something else about ourselves and each other and it only makes us more prepared for whatever lies ahead.