It is a constant struggle to find balance in this world. I want my children to enjoy team sports and activities like scouts but at the same time I feel like every day is one of survival. Making it through the next twelve hours, leaving one activity early to arrive at another one late. I wonder if I am setting the right example for my children about priorities and life choices.
I have basically worked since the day I graduated college. I also went back to graduate school and beyond. And with all these years of work and experience, I am not financially secure and I still wonder what I should be when I grow up.
So daily I ask the question: What is this all about? And yet my day is so hectic there is not much time to work on this answer. Part of me says I am being a responsible adult, making sacrifices to give my children a stable and supportive home. I am teaching them that life is about hard work and discipline and making choices. And then other times I feel like a fraud. Life is not really about eating dinner at a drive-thru while racing to practice, is it?
We are so intense. I do not even know how to slow down. I want to start with a clean slate. Sell the house and all the contents. Take a six month sabbatical to spend time with my husband and children and get back to the basics. Feed my soul and my body on a menu of natural sights, wholesome food and TIME. We will all rediscover ourselves and our family with daily time enjoying nature, journaling and each other. I know this sounds crazy. But somehow it does not feel as crazy as the alternative which is to keep up this impossible pace for two more decades only to look back and realize that I lost myself along the way.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Monday, December 26, 2011
The Greatest Gift of All
I have just been blessed with an incredible Christmas. I am so lucky to have a family with such love. For years I have been preaching about cooperation and appreciation. This year I feel like we are finally making some progress. Laurel and Owen were so adorable to see with their bright smiles and genuine happiness. Owen was excited to tell people how this was a very exciting Christmas because it was his first time giving a gift. I really wish I had a photo of the joy in his eyes when he handed me his gift. But I did not want to ruin the moment saying- wait let me get the camera so I will just need to keep the vision fresh in my heads. He gave me this wonderful mug that says Mom Rocks.
Christmas Eve was another spectacular event a Grammy's house. We were so happy to have Nana join us for the first time. We began with our usual feast of lasagna, meatballs, scallops, salmon, salad and garlic bread. Then we watched the children preform the nativity. Next Elf, Dominique the Donkey, Cindy Lou, Grinch, Santa and the Whoville mayor and Mrs. Claus delivered Christmas cheer to the children. Thanks to Grammy’s generosity, everyone is decked out in beautiful LLBean items. We finished the evening singing happy birthday to Jesus and enjoying cupcakes and handmade Christmas cookies.
Christmas morning was filled with happiness. Laurel and Owen were both excited to get an itouch. Laurel was also thrilled to receive a ukulele. Owen was so happy to get a chin up bar to help him with his cub scout goals. Of course.... legos continue to be a classic part of Christmas morning. After enjoying a Christmas casserole and chilling out with our new items, we went for a late morning hike with Tina, Emma and Craig. Then we rested up and showered we headed over to see Justin's family. It was a nice visit with Grandma Stella, Grandpa Murray and Grandpa David. They kept the Hess Truck tradition alive with the 2011 edition. Laurel was thrilled to get some games and a nail station. Then we headed over to Nana's house to hang with Lindsay and Nana. We have grown to love this calm tradition of catching up. As always everyone was way too generous and Laurel and Owen left with ear to ear grins. Then we were home by 7pm with plenty of time to each enjoy one the best gifts of all- a little time for each other.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Guest Blogging With Owen
Last week Owen learned about my blog. We were eating peanuts and I mentioned that my first blog was about eating peanuts with Owen. I read the blog to him. He asked to hear more. So we read many of the blogs. Then he asked me if I had written any new ones. I had not so we decided to write this one about our date to see the Lion King together. Our day started with an easy, early drive to New York City. When we got there we started walking up 5TH Ave to Central Park. We passed Rockefeller Center and the Lego Store but it wasn't open yet. We went to say hello to the sea lions at Central Park Zoo. We also saw the clock ring with monkeys at 11:00. Then we walked over to get on line at a restaurant called Serendipity. They have famous hot chocolate that we wanted to try. We waited on line for 45 minutes but were no closer to getting in. So we crossed the street to eat at a delicious pizzeria. Then we started walking back to the theater. We walked faster and faster but it still was a long way off. Owen got a cramp from running so much. But it was worth the effort because we got tour seats just in time to see the amazing start of the show with the Circle of Life. It was amazing to see Times Square turn into the African Safari with elephants, giraffes, lions, gazelles and birds. The show was a feast for the eyes with incredible costumes, dancing and singing. When it ended, Owen and I walked around Times Square and visited ToysRUs. We did not buy anything but as always, we checked out the Lego department. It was a terrific day and we both look forward to another date soon.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Turning 40
Turning 40!
It’s official. I am in the decade I once thought of as old. But I have felt no sadness or melancholy about the big 4-0. Conversely, I feel very lucky and happy to have lived this wonderful life filled with health and happiness for the past four decades. I cannot help but think of my friend Eileen and sister Denise who never even came close to this milestone. I have had just enough hardship to appreciate the fact that turning forty is certainly nothing to be sad about.
On my actual 40th birthday, I celebrated it exactly how I would choose to spend most days, a nice simple barbeque in my backyard with family. We had plenty of time to chat and enjoy the nice weather.
A few weeks later my mom generously treated my sister and I to a weekend escape to Skytop. It was a wonderful getaway for the three of us that included nature trails and heavenly spa treatments and delicious food. The three of us also enjoyed the peppermint spa pedicure (Grammy’s first ever.)
Well- here we are two months later and I am still celebrating! I realize my parents were very wise to realize the wonderful-ness of one-on-one time. I am following their example and rather than doing a single family outing, I am enjoying a birthday date with each member of my family. I thought about a lot of possibilities…. Great Adventure , NJ Boardwalk , Adventure Course and zip line, or Broadway shows.
Last night Laurel and I had our date to Lincoln Center to see War Horse. First we stopped at the Lion King Theater to buy tickets for me and Owen (that will be our date). Then we walked up towards Lincoln Center. We looked and looked for somewhere to eat that would be a treat but not a rip off. As we got closer and closer to Lincoln Center, prices went higher and higher. Five blocks past our destination, we found a perfect place. It was a Jewish Deli/ Restaurant called Lansky’s. After a relaxing meal we walked back towards the theater and settled down for an amazing war drama with incredible horse puppets…. You really have to see it to believe that a life-size horse puppet controlled by three people could so convincingly come to life. It was so nice to spend eight hours with Laurel and have no competition for attention, sibling rivalry or button-pushing. I can’t wait for my next two dates with Owen and Justin.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
White Mountains, NH
White Mountains, NH
Last Thursday we made the long drive to New Hampshire. After ninety minutes on the road Laurel started with I'm bored and "Are we there yet?". I started to wonder if this seven hour journey was really worth it. Around 4:30 we pulled into our site at Moose Hillock Campground. I could tell right away that this was worth the drive. It took about two hours to set-up camp. It is so much easier to camp now that we have the Fleetwood Pop-up. Soon Maya, Joe and Corbett pulled up and we enjoyed a hot dog dinner and a campfire. The next day we all went hiking at Moosilauke Ravine Lodge. On Saturday Carrie and Colin came to visit and we enjoyed the pool and natural river swimming area at the campground. Sunday was a wonderful exploring day. First we stopped at Breezy Point along the Baker River. All four of us took a swim while grammy took action shots with her camera. 
Then we drove up to a nice hike called Artists Bluff at the North End of Franconia Notch State Park. After that we enjoyed a well-deserved dinner with beer at the Woodstock Inn Station and Brewery. On Monday Grammy watched L&O while Justin and I took a hike. We each had strong opinions- Justin loved the impossible incline while I would have preferred a less strenuous "date." The weather for Tuesday did not look so great but rather than sit around waiting for the rain, we decided to go exploring again. We started out by driving on the Kancamagus Highway. Once again we found some rivers to enjoy. This time it was at the Lower Falls. 
(Owen is posing along this stretch of river but it did not take long for all four of us to be drawn into the refreshing, trout-filled water.) After a lengthy swim we headed to lunch at Lake Winnipesaukee. Then we went to the world's biggest arcade, Funspot. (In case you saw the documentary, King of Kong- this is where the arcade competitions are held.) With only one day left to go, time was getting short and I still wanted to see a moose so I told everyone I would be going on a moose watch early the next morning. Owen and Grammy eagerly joined in while Laurel and Justin took a chance to relax a little while on vacation :) I had read books and looked at maps and we followed a road that was supposed to be filled with wild life. After 90 minutes of alert watching, nothing. I pulled into a hiking area and tried to decide which trail we should hike on. Owen protested that he only had crocs on and did not want to hike. I lectured that moose would not just be hanging out on the road waiting for him, that if we wanted to see a moose we need to get into the woods. 
No sooner did I finish my speech, we all turn right and saw a mother with her calf standing right at the edge of the road! We were so lucky and so excited. Even though we still had to drive another two hours back, the moose sighting made it worth our early morning outing. We finished up our day with a trip to a trout hatchery and Lake Tarlton State Park. A week was way too short to take in all that the White Mountains have to offer. I sure do hope I will make it back there sometime soon!
Last Thursday we made the long drive to New Hampshire. After ninety minutes on the road Laurel started with I'm bored and "Are we there yet?". I started to wonder if this seven hour journey was really worth it. Around 4:30 we pulled into our site at Moose Hillock Campground. I could tell right away that this was worth the drive. It took about two hours to set-up camp. It is so much easier to camp now that we have the Fleetwood Pop-up. Soon Maya, Joe and Corbett pulled up and we enjoyed a hot dog dinner and a campfire. The next day we all went hiking at Moosilauke Ravine Lodge. On Saturday Carrie and Colin came to visit and we enjoyed the pool and natural river swimming area at the campground. Sunday was a wonderful exploring day. First we stopped at Breezy Point along the Baker River. All four of us took a swim while grammy took action shots with her camera. 
Then we drove up to a nice hike called Artists Bluff at the North End of Franconia Notch State Park. After that we enjoyed a well-deserved dinner with beer at the Woodstock Inn Station and Brewery. On Monday Grammy watched L&O while Justin and I took a hike. We each had strong opinions- Justin loved the impossible incline while I would have preferred a less strenuous "date." The weather for Tuesday did not look so great but rather than sit around waiting for the rain, we decided to go exploring again. We started out by driving on the Kancamagus Highway. Once again we found some rivers to enjoy. This time it was at the Lower Falls. 
(Owen is posing along this stretch of river but it did not take long for all four of us to be drawn into the refreshing, trout-filled water.) After a lengthy swim we headed to lunch at Lake Winnipesaukee. Then we went to the world's biggest arcade, Funspot. (In case you saw the documentary, King of Kong- this is where the arcade competitions are held.) With only one day left to go, time was getting short and I still wanted to see a moose so I told everyone I would be going on a moose watch early the next morning. Owen and Grammy eagerly joined in while Laurel and Justin took a chance to relax a little while on vacation :) I had read books and looked at maps and we followed a road that was supposed to be filled with wild life. After 90 minutes of alert watching, nothing. I pulled into a hiking area and tried to decide which trail we should hike on. Owen protested that he only had crocs on and did not want to hike. I lectured that moose would not just be hanging out on the road waiting for him, that if we wanted to see a moose we need to get into the woods. 
No sooner did I finish my speech, we all turn right and saw a mother with her calf standing right at the edge of the road! We were so lucky and so excited. Even though we still had to drive another two hours back, the moose sighting made it worth our early morning outing. We finished up our day with a trip to a trout hatchery and Lake Tarlton State Park. A week was way too short to take in all that the White Mountains have to offer. I sure do hope I will make it back there sometime soon!Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
Laurel totally made my day on Mother's Day. She was getting herself some ice cream and she asked me if I wanted some. I told her I really did but that I needed to start saying no to desserts because my clothes were getting tight. She says, "Mom, you know what I think? As long as this part (pointing to my chest) sticks out more than this part (pointing to my belly), then I think you are doing pretty well." I love her reasoning. I have been enjoying dessert ever since!
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