Mothering Myself

I always find it amamzing when something actually falls in my lap to read and it seems to be exactly what I need to read at that moment. A couple weeks ago, a huge big fell open to this page. I really like the message.

"Mothering Myself"
In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child I'm finding a need to mesh what's best for my children with what's necessary for a well balanced mother. I'm recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away. And when you give yourself away, you're not a healthy mother and you're not a healthy self.
So, now I'm learning to be a woman and a mother. I'm learning how to just experience my own emotions without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too. I'm learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone. And, very different from mine. I'm learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because pretenses don't fool children, they know their mother better than she knows herself.
I'm learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it. Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she's trying to overcome. I'm learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds. Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I'm learning that life is meant to be filled with as much pain as happiness and pleasure. And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment. I'm learning that fulfillment can't be attained through giving myself away-but through giving to myself and sharing with others.
I'm learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life. It's through living a fulfilling life myself. I'm trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn because I'm learning that letting go of them is the best way of holding on. -Nancy McBrine Sheehan

The Mommy Decade

All who know me well, know my obsession with planning is a bit over the top. But sometimes I just can't help it- I am always thinking of the next trip. The older children get, the more parents seem to say- it goes so fast. Laurel will soon turn 8- that means in a decade I will have an official adult and another almost-adult. So I think this next decade will fly. And I want to enjoy as much of it as possible with my family. I will have the rest of my life after that to tidy the shelves and sort through junk. But for now I want to enjoy this "window of opportunity" to enjoy my children while they still have the time and desire to hang with mom and dad. I am really excited for this decade. It will probably make up some of the most exciting and interesting parts of my life.