It Takes a Village

I love it when people help me with my children. Laurel loves crafts and art. I enjoy it too but I am not very talented, and even worse at teaching. This weekend Laurel really wanted to learn to knit. I called my neighbor, Joan, and asked her if she could give Laurel a lesson. I was amazed when thirty minutes later Laurel returned with yarn, needles and the start of a scarf. I am so grateful that I have people like Joan to help teach my children things that I do not know. I am equally grateful for my son’s wrestling coach. The phrase “it takes a village” just keeps becoming more and more of a mantra as my children get older and develop interests in areas that I just do not know.

Eat Your Veggies

All good mommies make their children eat their veggies, right? Well- here's what happened tonight: (Background is that Owen basically eats 5% fruit, 25% meat, 25% carbs, 10% milk and the remainder is not worth counting as nutritionally sound. )
Laurel came home from Brownies with a bucket full of cookies and Owen really wanted one. So I told him if he at least tried each item that we had for dinner, he could have one. The pork did not go down well but he got it down. Next, the squash. He gagged, made gross sounds, and created all sorts of drama. I said, "Owen- Just chew it, swallow it and wash it down with a drink." He chewed, he swallowed, he threw-up everything he had eaten in the past two hours- right at the dinner table. GROSS!

Mothering Myself

I always find it amamzing when something actually falls in my lap to read and it seems to be exactly what I need to read at that moment. A couple weeks ago, a huge big fell open to this page. I really like the message.

"Mothering Myself"
In a society preoccupied with how best to raise a child I'm finding a need to mesh what's best for my children with what's necessary for a well balanced mother. I'm recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away. And when you give yourself away, you're not a healthy mother and you're not a healthy self.
So, now I'm learning to be a woman and a mother. I'm learning how to just experience my own emotions without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their emotions too. I'm learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and characteristics that are his alone. And, very different from mine. I'm learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because pretenses don't fool children, they know their mother better than she knows herself.
I'm learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it. Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she's trying to overcome. I'm learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds. Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.
I'm learning that life is meant to be filled with as much pain as happiness and pleasure. And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment. I'm learning that fulfillment can't be attained through giving myself away-but through giving to myself and sharing with others.
I'm learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling life is not by sacrificing my life. It's through living a fulfilling life myself. I'm trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn because I'm learning that letting go of them is the best way of holding on. -Nancy McBrine Sheehan

The Mommy Decade

All who know me well, know my obsession with planning is a bit over the top. But sometimes I just can't help it- I am always thinking of the next trip. The older children get, the more parents seem to say- it goes so fast. Laurel will soon turn 8- that means in a decade I will have an official adult and another almost-adult. So I think this next decade will fly. And I want to enjoy as much of it as possible with my family. I will have the rest of my life after that to tidy the shelves and sort through junk. But for now I want to enjoy this "window of opportunity" to enjoy my children while they still have the time and desire to hang with mom and dad. I am really excited for this decade. It will probably make up some of the most exciting and interesting parts of my life.

A Deal's a Deal

Laurel was on a team for the first time this year. She chose to run cross country. At the first race she came in last. At the next race she came in last. I was trying to come up with a way to encourage her so I told her if she ran under a 12 minute mile I would buy her running sneakers. She tried hard at the next race, but fell short. The following week she still did not break the 12 minute mark. She was frustrated and sad and asked why I just wouldn't buy her the sneakers. I explained that while I was tempted to just say- good enough and go get them, I wanted her to feel the pride of accomplishment. I knew she would do it sooner or later and that it would feel great to "earn" them and not just get them because I feel bad for her. At the fifth race grammy, daddy, mommy, nana and Owen were all there to cheer her on. Within 5 steps of the start of the race Laurel fell hard on the pavement. My eyes filled with tears- poor Laurel is never going to get these sneakers. I was tempted to go scoop her up and hug her. But thankfully before I could move, she popped right up and started running again. I saw her at the half-way point coming out of the woods doing great. I yelled, "You're my hero Laurel. You just got right up and started running again." At the end of the race she told me, "When I fell down it really hurt but I did not want to come in last and the longer I sat there, the further everyone was getting away from me so I just got up and started running."
She got an 11:55 mile. Well- a deal is a deal and even though there was only one race left, we went to the sneaker store to buy running sneakers. Laurel had not had her feet measured in years. Usually we either use hand-me-downs or go to the summer sidewalk sale and get whatever shoe felt comfortable. The lady measured her fit and put a brand new pair of sneakers on. I knew the expense may not be justified so I used my birthday money that had been waiting for a good use in my wallet. Laurel was amazed how comfortable her new sneakers were. She has worn them with pride everyday since.
Laurel and I have learned a lot from this cross country season. So much has come easy to her, like reading and other schoolwork. It was good for her to learn how to stick with something and work hard and know what it is like to not be the best. I think she has learned more life lessons from this short season than if she had been the star- runner. (But maybe she can feel what it is like to be a star runner next season now that she has running shoes :)

Fightin' Words

Owen had his last soccer game Saturday. All in all, it was a fun experience for everyone. Near the end of the game he started yelling at a boy from the other team. I could not hear the whole thing but then Owen came back with the ultimate diss- He said with all his might, "Well your shoes aren't even tied!" It was so funny that from his 6 year old point of view, the meanest thing he could come up with was that! Some day Owen will read this and see the humor.

Family Traditions

Laurel is in grade2 and studing family traditions. She had to write about one tradition. It was so interesting to see the one she chose- I thought she might pick that the birthday person picks the restuarant for dinner or getting presents for Christmas. But the tradition most important to her is Girls Getaway. Every September all of the females in the Connors family rent the same house in Pennsylvania. We have been doing this for seven years. Usually on Saturdays we go shopping at Tannersville. This year we all bought matching pajamas and necklaces. I also got a new watch. For dinner on Saturday night my mother’s cousin, Christina, creates an amazing feast. She went to the Culinary Institute of America and she is an excellent chef. We all help make the Saturday night feast. Then we gather around and take turns sharing memories. This was the first year that children were allowed to go. My cousins, Stephanie and Grace, and I were the only children there. This year everyone shared memories about our mother. I said mine was not a memory because it was happening right then. I told my mommy that I was happy she let me come to Girls Getaway.
As an additional activty for this unit, all families were asked to send in a recipe that represents are ancestors. I am proud to be Irish and considered the old standy-by of Irish Soda Bread but honestly, no kids are ever too psyched to eat Irish Soda Bread. Not to mention the fact that I am half Irish, half German and Justin is about 4 more nations so our children really are officially American. So here is what I brought: Robbins Family Tradition: Our family loves desserts. We always make homemade desserts for special occasions like birthdays, Thanksgiving and Easter. The vanishing oatmeal bars have become a staple at all family gatherings. And if you want one, act quick because they really do vanish!

Makes Perfect Sense

Today Owen explained to me why Boo Boos have their name. He said, "No one likes getting boo boos. You get it? BOO!!! BOO!! People boo the boo boos. This ones got to brief- there is a line for the computer. It used to be one- bathroom houses were a challenge. Then it was one tv houses.... now it seems to bo one computer homes!

Stay on Your Toes

Owen is playing soccer. He really enjoys it, especially defense. He tries hard to follow all of the advice of his three coaches. At the last game he was on defense and one of his coaches said, "Owen, stay on your toes." Of course as adults we know he meant to be alert but poor, obedient Owen was out there in his cleats standing tip-toe.
While I am talking about Owen, I have to say I am so proud of how he is adjusting to a new school. I was worried it would be too crazy in a school with 600 students but he loves all the socialization. He is working hard and making friends and happy so what else could I ask for?

Advice Anyone?

I love my daughter. In fact most days I like the traits I see in her more than what I see in myself. Laurel is creative and smart. She is a hard worker and somehow she has this amazing fashion sense that cracks me up since both mom and dad are greatly lacking in that area. BUT... her messy room drives me INSANE. I have tried everything from emptying her room into the attic to filling bags with garbage to banning all purchases. She does not seem to get it that the floor is not an acceptable storage area for ear rings, books, craft supplies, and toys. Anytime I mention the word clean-ups I know I can count on Laurel to find a quiet spot to disappear to. Then when I do find her I have to hear how everyone hates her. I am at my wits end- I find myself wishing that we lived in a one-bedroom home with 2 outfits a piece. Then we would not have to spend precious energy fighting about STUFF. You wonder why I pack up every summer? That's because when you sleep in a tent and pack a laundry basket per person there is not a whole lot of time and energy spent on clean-ups. I hope someday I will look back at this blog entry and laugh. But for now it is driving me crazy.

Happy Birthday

I remember when I was little and I would ask my mom what she wants for her birthday and her answer was always some variation of: All I want is for everyone to be happy and healthy. As a 7 or 8 year old who always had at least 10 things on my mind that I wanted, I could not imagine not wanting a THING for my birthday. But I guess I am starting to mature because I sound just like my mom when my children ask me what I want for my birthday and my kids sound just like I used to when they hear my answer. But like it or not, here's hoping I get what I want and everyone is happy and healthy today.
Not only is it my birthday. But I am also very excited because L has her first cross country practice, O has his first soccer practice and both have their first day of school at their new school. I can't wait to hear how it all goes.

Life's a Bear

There are many occasions that I am convinced that it takes more than just mom to keep her kids safe and my likely guardian angels may be my dad and sister. Here is my most recent story: This morning I was upstairs in my bedroom. I heard Laurel and Owen go outside. While I normally do not like them to be outside unsupervised I was so happy that there were not staring at TV garbage- I figured that it is time to loosen the leash a little. Within three minutes of them being outside I hear Laurel exclaim, "Oh my God. Oh my God." Not only were the words odd but the tone perked my ears up. Then I heard Owen crying and I thought to myself- He got hurt AGAIN! But when I looked out the window I saw him on the tire-swing unharmed.... Then I saw the bear! First Laurel had come face to face with the bear and when she yelled, it ran to the backyard where Owen was relaxing and eating his cereal on the tire swing. As he spun around he then came face to face with the bear. He later told me, I knew I could die but I thought positive and slowly backed away. (As a side note, this whole concept of positive thinking is a wonderful change in my formally negative Ned.) Once we were all safe inside I just knew that somehow we were all kept safe, Thank God and probably thank Dad and Denise too!

Do you have the look?

Sometimes I feel like my kids are smarter than I am. L & O have been taking Martial Arts Classes. It is a great place and they love it. Each class the instructors pick one or two students to get a star card. O got it 2 classes in a row. L was very dissapointed not to get it. I explained that learning is the best prize and as long as she learning, that is what counts. (BLAH< BLAH BLAH to her ears) At the end of our talk she said. "I just don't have the look." I asked her what she meant and she went on to say that some kids just have that look that always get noticed. She came up with this plan that she wanted me to give her a special hair do. I told her I would only do it if she wanted it just to want it, not to try to earn the star card. Sure enough that class she was picked.

If I Don't Laugh I Will Cry

I know it is not funny but here I am two days away from the big family reunion and this is my night: First the "new" van is leaking SOMETHING so I have to bring it to Firestone. They say engine trouble- go straight to the dealer. We get to the dealer and drop off the van. Four hours later they say the repair can wait until after the reunion so we can pick it up. So we make another family outing BACK to the dealer. (First of all, why is it that no matter what brand we buy, the dealer is always 30 minutes away? Secondly- anyone with kids knows what an ordeal it is to pile everyone into a car every time you need to bring one car in for service.) So anyway- back to the story: Laurel has the big idea to drop me off and go get a table at a Mexican Restaurant. So the plan sounds good. I get to the place and see the whole family walking out with sullen faces. As soon as L,O and J get seated Owen throws up blue Gatorade all over the place. So the short of it is, I bring O home and J goes to another place to eat with L (too embarrassed to return to the same place.) O seems to be on the mend until he wakes me up with ear pain at 12:45AM. After a couple hours we are back to sleep until the painters arrive at 7. Well- one way or another I will get ready for the big family reunion! Speaking of which- gotta get packing.!

Kids of Summer

Tonight was one of those nights you want to "freeze in time." I just love this age. First we collected wood for a backyard campfire. Then we told spooky stories while we waited for the perfect roasting coals. After that we worked on our marshmallow roasting technique (there really is an art to it). Then our neighbor offered us a nice basket of sticky rice. Finally, we finished off the night with a round of collecting fireflies. I wish I had the literary gifts to put in words just how wonderful this night was.... maybe practice makes perfect.

Made From Scraps?

Last week we made homemade cookies for a picnic at L&O's school. Laurel came home and said,"Were the cookies made from scraps?" I said, "No- they are made from scratch." I love those little mix-ups with language. Some others that I remember are: It is froggy outside. Blow an arrow (bow and arrow) wheelerchair (wheelchair)... wish I could remember the others but maybe I will add them as they happen.

Starting a New Chapter

Some people use the word blessed so much that it starts to dilute the significance. But I can honeslty say that everyday that L and O were at school for these past four years I would think to myself- We are so blessed. I could not have asked for a better "home away from home" to nuture their spirits and learning. I knew when they were at school they were with teachers who loved them and cared for them as much as I do. I could feel the warmth the day I first visited the school. During these four years I saw them grow with a sense for caring and community. As an added bonus, they also stretched their minds. I can't even put into words how happy I am that somehow I stumbled upon this school and decided to give it a try. It was probably the best decision in parenting that I have made so far.

Gift of Gab

L never got to kiss the Blarney Stone when we were in Ireland but somehow she still got the gift of gab. I tell you all this as a warning- If you ever hear her tell a story, know that it is likely only 10% true and 90 % exaggeration. I heard her on the phone with my mom the other night. Here are some excerpts:
...I heard mommy say, "Oh my gosh.!" I came running inside and there was this huge flood of iced tea. (True version: There was a small leak coming from the new iced tea cooler. About 2 ounces leaked out.)
...My poison ivy is all better because mommy bought a whole cart full of lotion at A&P. She always says she needs three things and then we go in the store and she fills up the whole cart and when we go to pay it is hundreds of dollars and she always says the same thing..."I can't believe how much money we spent." (True version: I bought three poison ivy remedies. I spent $60 but I will admit over $10 was on tomatoes!!!!)
I wish I could remember her other retellings- she was in rare form. If only I had a tape recordor!

Happy Camper

This weekend we all went camping for Memorial Day Weekend. I think it was our best year yet- L and O are really at a super age for camping. Almost my entire family came up to visit yesterday. It was great. This is a funny observation that I made: There must be a certain age that a switch is turned and you go from being a caterpillar lover to a caterpillar hater. All of the children were fascinated with holding and catching and watching caterpillars while all of the adults were flinching and flicking and flinging them off of us. I wonder when or why that happends....

Homework Happiness (A little sarcasm)

I SWORE I would keep this positive. But how can one blog on the joys of motherhood without a mention of homework? I have to wonder- when I was a classroom teacher, did I torture parents in this way? There is no truer test of a mother's need for wine than a good ole evening of homework. I have noticed this reverse correlation: The more creative the assignment, the less "bonding". (Read between the lines: Do you really think the five year old is planning the craft follow-up activity for the buddy in pre-school?) Well- enough on that. Of course I am grateful that my children can do homework and that we have a kitchen table to do it at. In fact we even have a luxury I never enjoyed during my homework days- an electric pencil sharpener. I used to have to go down to the garage to sharpen my pencil- I can just imagine if the poor cherubs had to walk down the stairs to a manual pencil sharpener every time the point broke!
Well- dinner is almost ready. My husband is slaving away at the stove. (Translation: J is stopping at the pizza store on the way home from work.)

Poem to Honor Owen's Star Student Week

Owen
Playful, Persuasive, Passionate
Son of Helen and Justin
Lover of Playmobil, Harry Potter and Pizza
Who feels love, companionship and success
Who needs calmness, support and encouragement
Who gives hugs, jokes and new ideas
Who would like to see Hogwarts
Resident of Denville
Robbins


(This bio-poem was written by Mommy 5/3/08 for his star student packet.) This is the format of a biopoem:
Line 1: first name
Line 2: Four words that describe your character
Line 3: Brother or sister of...
Line 4: Lover of...(three ideas or people)
Line 5: Who feels...(three ideas)
Line 6: Who needs...(three ideas)
Line 7: Who gives...(three ideas)
Line 8: Who fears...(three ideas)
Line 9: Who would like to see...
Line 10: Resident of
Line 11: His or her last name

Reduce Reuse Recycle

This week Laurel made a speech for a homework assignment on how to take care of the earth. She focused on Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It was such a sincere and innocent speech- may she always think so clearly. For her example for reuse she stated, "This beautiful dress is a hand-me-down. We get most of our clothes from the church. Every April there is a rummage sale. Reuse is better because when you buy new clothes it goes through a factory and on a truck and sometimes even an airplane." Of course it sounded cuter coming from Laurel's animated voice but hopefully part of the message is coming through.

Laurel Spends Time With Grammy

Several years ago a parent told me that as good as it felt to score a soccer goal in high school, it felt even better to watch her son score a goal. Everything is magnified when you see your child accomplish something. I would say the same is true with spending time with Grammy or Nana. As much as I love to spend time with either one, my heart swells when I see the joy it brings for Laurel or Owen to get their special time.
This weekend Laurel had a date with Grammy. She had a wonderful time seeing the Great Falls in Paterson, going to get more sewing supplies at A.C.Moore and visiting Turtle Back Zoo.

Everyone should make a toast

If you are ever feeling down or ungrateful, get a bottle of Prosecco (of course only if you are of legal age) and make a toast. There is always something to toast. Toast the weather, toast the season, toast for the fact that you have a glass to raise to a toast. It is such a mistake to save toasting for only MIDNIGHT once a year. Toast at least once a onth if not once a week. And toast early- 6pm or 7pm before exhaustion sets in. There is no better way to BEGIN a night than with a toast. Give it a try!

Eating Peanuts with Owen

Last night I sat outside with my five year old son and a bag of peanuts. He asked if he could have some. I told him sure. He took a peanut and said, "How do I get it." At first I did not know what he meant. Shelling a peanut is so automatic to me I did not realize it could be a learned activity. I showed him how to squeeze a peanut by holding the peanut with the seam on the side and squeezing. This did not work for five year old fingers. So Owen picked out peanuts that were already partially cracked. WHo would have guessed so much conversation could be generated. "Wow- this one is fat.... Oh, it's a skinny one... Did you see that one shoot out?.... I do not like the skin by itself.... Cool this one has two..." Soon there were no more single peanut or open peanuts left. We had to find an alternative opening strategy. I showed him how to put a peanut on the table and pound with a fist. This is the perfect five year old technique!