It is a constant struggle to find balance in this world. I want my children to enjoy team sports and activities like scouts but at the same time I feel like every day is one of survival. Making it through the next twelve hours, leaving one activity early to arrive at another one late. I wonder if I am setting the right example for my children about priorities and life choices.
I have basically worked since the day I graduated college. I also went back to graduate school and beyond. And with all these years of work and experience, I am not financially secure and I still wonder what I should be when I grow up.
So daily I ask the question: What is this all about? And yet my day is so hectic there is not much time to work on this answer. Part of me says I am being a responsible adult, making sacrifices to give my children a stable and supportive home. I am teaching them that life is about hard work and discipline and making choices. And then other times I feel like a fraud. Life is not really about eating dinner at a drive-thru while racing to practice, is it?
We are so intense. I do not even know how to slow down. I want to start with a clean slate. Sell the house and all the contents. Take a six month sabbatical to spend time with my husband and children and get back to the basics. Feed my soul and my body on a menu of natural sights, wholesome food and TIME. We will all rediscover ourselves and our family with daily time enjoying nature, journaling and each other. I know this sounds crazy. But somehow it does not feel as crazy as the alternative which is to keep up this impossible pace for two more decades only to look back and realize that I lost myself along the way.
1 comment:
Well said! There is a book called "Undecided" which is calling out an epidemic of sorts whereby more of us are conflicted because we have too many options. There's "what's expected" and then there's the "what I need." The latter will keep changing. Words like "crippling demands" and "analysis paralysis" are common threads among women (and I'm sure men as well)in a time and place where more is expected of everyone and a nagging feeling that something isn't quite right is growing to the point of distraction.
There was a couple (late 20's/early 30's) on a reality show about buying RV's. Yes, there's a reality show for that. They just sold their house, put the money into a nice RV (think "pimped out") and she was going to blog for a living. Their reason for doing this - they wanted to explore the country while they still had the time to do this. They needed a break from their corporate lives.
So...you are not alone! Maybe we can buy an island...
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