Before I start writing my Father's Day blog I have to mention one of my favorite blogs that I have been reading: succesify. Good daily doses of inspiration.
With Father's Day coming up I figured I would do a little tribute to my dad. My father passed away in 2004. Two things that surprise me are how daily his little words of advice pop into my head and how much I wish I could have the long chats that I totally did not enjoy when they were happening.
One piece of advice that really sticks out was given to me in 1989. I had headed off to college and I was extremely homesick. I would only get to call home once a week because long distance phone calls at the pay phone were really expensive. Usually when I called I secretly hoped my mom would pick up but it was almost always that my dad would answer. I figured I would try to have a heart to heart with him and tell my dad how much I missed home. His advice rather shocked me. This is what he said: "You know Helen, it's time to either shit or get off the pot." Wow! That was not the warm words I expected. But looking back I am so glad he said that. Basically I had an opportunity so many only dream of- going off to college. And from my dad's point of view I either needed to live it and embrace it or change the plan but he was tired of my sad phone calls every week. I have since used his advice often. If ever I am not happy with what I am doing I either change my attitude or change my situation. But I don't just stay stuck. Thanks Dad for always saying it like it is. We need more of that kind of parenting these days!
My dad loved to tell a story. Sometimes he told the same story again and again. For example, just about every Thanksgiving we could be sure to hear about the time he was homesick traveling in England during Thanksgiving and he asked for pumpkin pie. Anyone in my family can tell the rest of this story it has been told so many times. The waitress replied "Pumpkin Pie! You mean those huge orange squashes? You make pie out of them!" To this day anyone in my family can say the words pumpkin pie with a British accent and we all break out laughing with memories of Dad.
My dad was always full of surprises. One time he told me a story about a guy with the nickname eggshell. He was so well known by this nickname that all you needed to do was draw a picture of an eggshell followed by Poughkeepsie, NY and the zip code and no mater where in the world you mailed your letter, he would get it. This impressed me for three big reasons:
1. My dad drew an amazing eggshell- It was probably the only drawing I ever saw him do but it really impressed me.
2. How cool was it to live in a town where some guy could be known by the whole post office as eggshell and that drawing would get all his mail to his house!.
3. It made me wonder if I could ever pull off a picture nickname. I would often wonder which picture I would try to get to take off. This thought entertained for many long car rides!
My dad loved to eat a good meal. I used to love to watch him eat. He had such a face of contentment. His engineering mind really showed while he ate. He could cut meat with such precision- almost like a grid of graph paper one square at a time. Vegetables also took on an interesting ritual. For example, first he would eat the bottom inch of each asparagus spear, then the next inch and so on until he was left with the tips. I recall he really did not like casseroles. He liked order on his plate!
Compliments from my dad were few and far between. As a result the times I got them I really treasured them. One time after college I said I would make dinner. I made vegetable soup with a food processor. I really went crazy with the chopping and it was almost like baby food. My dad said, "That soup was really good. I liked that the vegetables were cut so small." It is true that a daughter loves to hear praises from her father. I felt so proud!
My dad taught me Mark Twain's quote- "Never let schoolwork interfere with your education." We valued schoolwork and were expected to behave and learn while at school. But about once a year out of no where my dad would say, "Want to go to New York for the day?" It would usually be a Wednesday and we would catch a matinee. On an especially memorable trip we walked out of the Big River matinee and got right back on the half price line to see The Tap Dance Kid. I loved our broadway show outings. Some of the many shows I saw with my dad included: Annie, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, 42nd Street, Chorus Line, Big River, I Remember Mama, Tap Dance Kid, Phantom of the Opera, Les Mis, Blood Brothers, Miss Saigon, Starlight Express and My Fair Lady.
Well I could go on and on but these are some of my top dad memories. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!
