On December 16 my sister Denise would have turned 40. Her life was cut short after she was in a serious car accident while studying in Russia during her junior year of college. Even though she has been gone for awhile, I still feel her spirit strong. I think she, more than anyone I know, would understand why we moved to Colorado. I know if she could write me a letter she would say- life is short. Live your life. She once said you can stay in your room and be safe or you can get out there and see the world. Staying in Denville certainly felt safer but I am grateful for all the experiences we are having here.
I really miss Denise and wonder what my life would be like had she not died so young. But at the same time I know I am a stronger person and my relationships with my family are stronger because of the hardships we have been through. Since I can't bring her back, rather than dwell on the loss, I can celebrate the gifts that she has given me. Some of these gifts include compassion and understanding when others suffer a loss, trying to make everyday count since it can all change in an instant, and keeping it all in per perspective about what REALLY matters!
I certainly thought this whole live your dream and fate would just make everything fall in place. But it is not like that at all. But we are all really living. Now we are back to hiking on the weekends, spending family time together and really feeling alive. In some ways the struggles have only confirmed that this is what we really want. If nothing else my children are seeing us struggle while still keeping our sense of humor and staying strong. Everyday we all learn something else about ourselves and each other and it only makes us more prepared for whatever lies ahead.
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